"" THE ROAD NOT TAKEN: The 10 Resolutions for 2010...

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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

The 10 Resolutions for 2010...

It's that time of the year as I prepare my Cinta Jr for the new school year, Cinta  Honey and I remain hopeful of being better parents, better providers and having happier families in 2010.

With that in mind, here is a list of the 10 resolutions:

1) Spend more time with the children.
Your children will grow up fast and before you know it they're going to university and then going abroad or moving out of the house. So, spend as much time as you can with them now while they still want you in their lives and want to spend time with you. This is where you build that parent-child bond which will hopefully last until you're old.

2) Stop being kiasu (overly competitive).
It's always good to be competitive but don't overdo it. Your child's happiness must always come first. Don't force your child to keep going for more classes and activities just so you can brag about how well your child does at school or music or dance.

3) Take time to better communicate with the children, collectively and individually.
You need to listen to your children and spend time individually with them. They will remember it for the rest of their lives and this will strengthen your bond with them. If something is wrong or if you're upset about something, calm down first before talking to your child and explaining how you feel and why you feel this way. Your child will sense if something is wrong in the family – if you and your husband are going through a rough patch or if you have money problems – so it's best to explain it to him or her in the best and simplest way that you can.

4) Stop comparing your children to other people's children.
Your children have their own strengths and weaknesses and should never be compared to other people's kids. Remember how you hated it when your parents used to do that? So, don't do that to your child. It's okay if he's really bad at History. He may have a heart of gold and isn't that better that being brilliant at History?

5) Encourage the children in what they are passionate about even if you think it's a waste of time.
Times have changed from when we were children. Today, our children are more interested in social networks and being in touch with their friends. It's not necessarily a bad thing as we too network for work. What may seem like a trivial interest to you means the world to your child and nothing would please them more than seeing you take an interest in it. Would it hurt to show some support?

6) Stop beating yourself up if you make a mistake as a parent.
We all make mistakes in our lives on a daily basis. Parenting is not excluded. Nobody is perfect and there are no perfect parents so don't beat yourself up over mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and move on. By doing that you demonstrate to your children how to deal with mistakes so that they too can apply the same attitude in their own lives.

7) Make time for your spouse.
This is ultra important. Happy parents make happy children. Your children feed off your energy. If the parents are warring, the children will know it (even if it's a cold war). They will not feel happy being in a home where mum and dad are constantly bickering or if mum and dad are not talking to each other. Keep communicating and spending time with your spouse so that your kids and your spouse will be happy and this makes for a happy family with a strong bond.

8) Stop farming out parenting to the maid and / or babysitter.
The maid and the babysitter have roles. Their job might be to clean house and keep an eye on your children but draw the line at the maid taking care of your sick child who needs you at night or making the babysitter comfort your child. They can be there for temporary help and support but ultimately your child should come to you when they need help, are in trouble or just want a hug. You do not want to have your child running to the maid instead of you when they hurt themselves.

9) Get healthy.
It's time to cut down on sugar and start taking care of your health. If you don't care about your health, think about your children. They need and deserve healthy parents who will be around to watch them get married and have children of their own.  Make them get healthy too by cutting down on the sweets and chocolates and getting to eat more vegetables and fruits. A healthy family is a happy family.

10) Have fun.
Parenting should not be all serious and by the book. Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes and have fun with parenting. Be creative in bringing up your child. Remember, you are building a bond with your child and you want your child to have happy memories of their childhood, so don't always be the strict disciplinarian. Have fun when you can...

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